I am an admitted serial dater in search of the "one." I have a profile on a bunch of dating apps and websites and friends are constantly setting me up. Needless to say, my social calendar is full. The problem is I know exactly what I am looking for and don't want to waste anybody's time. How do I tell a date "I'm not so into her."
The least fun part of dating, somewhere after an awkward pause is the awkward conversation to convey that it's not going to work. The truth is It feels just as awful to give the speech as it does to receive it, however it's far better than leaving your date to wonder what went wrong and if you will ever call again.
Before you break the break up news, ask yourself if you should really end things. Did you give this person a fair chance? Do you think the "problem" can't ever be resolved? In other words, is it a matter of attractiveness- or lack thereof- or is it incongruous values and life goals that have brought you to make this decision? If you've asked yourself these questions and given this person a fair chance then it is only right to share with them your decision.
The conversation does not have to be long and can be done over the phone. It should be clear as to what the problem is without going into too many unnecessary details. For example, rather than dismissing her political views, you can say that you don't see eye-to-eye on some important matters.
Finally, it is essential that you explain that this isn't the beginning of a disagreement or of a heated conversation, this is the end of your relationship. You can put forth your intentions of friendship, if they are genuine but insist on a hiatus on any communication until all emotions die out.
The Break-Up Bottom Line:
- Assess the situation objectively and determine if the problem can't be resolved
- Have a clear and concise conversation where you outline the source of conflict and your intentions.
- Put a pause on all communication- until further notice.