I'm 37, attractive, successful and still SINGLE. Coming from a close-knit Jewish community where every milestone is family-centric, I often feel alienated, isolated and as if I will die single. Every "Soon By You" and "You're next" blessing feels like a curse. Will it ever really be my turn or should I start collecting cats and embrace full spinster status?
Oh dear, Bridget Jones! No need to take such hasty measures just yet. Spinster is such an antiquated and unacceptable term that hardly reflects the reality of today. Once upon a time unmarried women above the age of 18 were considered spinsters but times are a changin': people are marrying later than ever according to this study; which means your "happily ever after" is yet to come and you can retire that term and those worries.
Some of my most amazing matchmaking clients over the years had similar profiles to your own and would leave me scratching my head as to why they were still single. Only once I would see them married would I understand why: Because their time was then, while others is now. In other words, and please don't take this the wrong way but some people stay single longer because they are working on themselves or just plain working. In other words, they are too preoccupied with other undertakings to meet the "one."
Destiny may have "the one" living two states away, or even going through his first marriage and divorce, but when you are both ready for each other, the stars will align and your souls will connect wherever and whenever that may be. The point I am very clumsily trying to make is that as a strict believer in destiny, I believe you will get married exactly when your time is right to Mr. Right and nobody else.
In the meanwhile, don't let society, or any other factors determine when that time is. Play a proactive role in your destiny. I highly recommend you go out, meet men (per Evan Mark Katz's suggestions), fall in love; allow yourself to be set up on blind dates; actively try online dating... more than once- maybe even get in touch with me for some tips or a modern take on matchmaking. Increase your odds whichever way you can. These will be some of your last dates, make the best of them. Laugh harder. Love better.
PS. While you still have time on your hands, I highly recommend Kate Bolick's book: Spinster. The forecast is not so grim.
*Margaux, the Jewish Matchmaker is happy to respond to any and all of your questions on love, relationships and dating. Montreal - Miami- NYC Singles, we are waiting to hear from you. Send them in: email@example.com